Funeral reception: how to arrange it in Kraków

The stypa, also called konsolacja, is a funeral reception, a meal after the funeral. The family can invite loved ones to their home, to a restaurant or to a hired hall. The family decides whether to hold one and in what form, and the invitation can be given at the end of the ceremony.

• the family's decisionclose relatives decide on the form and time of the gathering
• 3 venueshome, restaurant or hired hall
• a customnot an obligation, the family may decline to hold one

What a stypa is and where it comes from

The stypa is a funeral reception that the family gives for those who attended the ceremony. It is also called konsolacja. This word comes from the Latin consolatio, meaning comfort or consolation. The name suits the meaning of the gathering well: after a difficult day, people can sit down together, share a meal and talk about the person who has died.

The word stypa comes from a Latin word meaning a gift or alms. Today the stypa can be a quiet gathering of family and loved ones, where shared moments are remembered and those closest are supported.

A stypa does not have to take place. If the family does not have the strength for it, or prefers to spend this time in quiet, they may decline, and guests should respect that decision.

Whom to invite and how to pass on the invitation

The stypa is mainly for the closest family and the friends of the person who has died. It is good to remember those who have travelled a long way: a meal lets them rest before the journey home. There is no need to invite everyone who attended the funeral.

The invitation can be passed on in several ways:

• In person, before the funeral. It is worth asking in advance those whose presence matters most to you, so that they can plan their time.
• At the end of the ceremony. The invitation can be included in a short word of thanks for attending, given by someone from the family, a member of the funeral home staff or the funeral celebrant.
• In conversation at the grave. The invitation can also be given individually at the cemetery, while people lay flowers and offer condolences.

If the stypa is to be small and there are neighbours or delegations from work at the funeral, you can tactfully say in the word of thanks that the family is inviting close relatives and friends. It helps to give the place, the time and directions.

When and where it is held, and how long it lasts

The stypa can be held straight after the ceremony at the cemetery, or at another time convenient for the family. There are several possible venues:

• the family's home, with a modest meal or food ordered from a caterer,
• a restaurant, ideally a separate room just for those attending,
• a hired hall or reception venue, when there are more guests.

At a venue, the service is usually provided by the venue itself, which can be a great relief for the family on the day of the funeral. It is good if it is not far from the cemetery. It is worth asking at the first contact whether the venue takes orders for funeral receptions.

The length of the gathering depends on the family and the guests. It is worth agreeing an approximate finishing time with the venue, and ending the gathering when the guests begin to leave.

What is served at a stypa

The food can be simple. At a venue you can order a hot meal, for example soup and a main course, followed by cake, coffee and tea. At home, a modest spread is enough: tea, sandwiches and cake.

• It is worth thinking about guests on special diets: vegetarians and people with allergies.
• Alcohol is not necessary, and the decision belongs to the family.
• If alcohol is served, it is wise to drink in moderation.

A stypa after a secular funeral and an urn funeral

A stypa can also be held after a secular funeral. The invitation can then be given by the celebrant in the closing words.

For an urn funeral, the family chooses the day of the gathering. It is good to settle this in advance, so that guests know when they are invited.

Etiquette for guests

You can accept an invitation to a stypa when offering your condolences. If possible, it is worth coming, because the presence of guests can be a comfort to the family.

• It is good to speak well of the person who has died and to listen to those closest to them. There is no need to correct anything.
• It is better not to ask about the circumstances of the death.
• If alcohol is served, it is wise to drink in moderation.
• Dress: dark, simple and modest, as at the funeral.

Is it acceptable to decline? A stypa is not compulsory. People who came to the funeral out of courtesy do not have to attend the reception, even if a general invitation was made.

When the invitation was personal, it is good to decline politely, with a short expression of sympathy. The family can accept a refusal with understanding, without asking for reasons.

Organising a stypa step by step

1. Decision. The closest family decide whether the stypa will take place, and whether it will be small or for everyone who attended.

2. Number of guests. An approximate list, taking into account people travelling from afar and dietary needs.

3. Venue. A home, a restaurant with a separate room or a reception venue, ideally close to the cemetery.

4. Booking. A provisional booking of the date and time, then the choice of menu and a decision about alcohol.

5. Confirmation. It is worth giving the venue the final number of guests in good time.

6. Invitations. It is worth asking those closest in advance; the others can be invited at the end of the ceremony, in person or through the funeral celebrant.

7. Transport from the cemetery. Getting there matters especially for older people and visitors who do not have a car.

The family organises the stypa. Lilia can provide transport for those attending the ceremony from the cemetery to the reception by minibus or coach, as described in our account of funeral services. For matters concerning a funeral, please call us: +48 12 421 24 80. All our service points are listed on the page contact.

Frequently asked questions